(urgency is now, but let’s use a 90 day challenge to feel urgency)

Imagine you had 90 days left till you die. Today is day 1. It doesn’t matter if it’s 8am or 9pm. How do you feel? Do you feel a sense of urgency or loss? Do you feel the pressure to cross everything off of your bucket list? Do you feel despair that you won’t get to finish something that you’ve been working on? Do you feel nothing? Your life had been the same day to day?

Now imagine that after considering spending all of  your money or traveling, eating all the food you love, any sort of bathing in sensual-titillating pleasures, you decided it was more important for you to share all that you know because even though day to day you’ve been buried in self doubt, regret, confusion, hatred, blame, anger, sadness, avoidance, fear, resentment, self sabotage, and constant worrying that kept you from living your life in pure, simple joy, receptivity and gentleness, you know what is meaningful to you and those around you.

0d6fd68b540383599c98e26c8bb0d5bbIt is simple, I’m a happy fairy. I live in a forest in a planet somewhere. I’m part of a great whole. I am one with everything. I have a safe place to stay when I rest, places to pick berries, and eat veggies. I like to listen tob32b16e1ab4404f0dc8279b19b1e9e0f the birds singing, laugh at the animals around me in marvel and joy.

I know that I’ll die someday. That I will be forgotten, but that doesn’t matter because my life matters now. I have friends to meet, cleaning up to do, a life to live, a world to explore. I know I’m amazing, like everyone. I take excellent care of myself. I present myself as a bright, warm, generous fairy who is receptive to the other fairies. I’m gentle, smiling and in the moment. I know fear exists because it’s a part of the world to fear death.

So I’ve seen in the animal kingdom that animals eat or kill one another for resources like food, sex, and territory. It used to be like that in the fairy kingdom, but we gained the knowledge that we don’t have to kill each other because when we work together, the forest has enough to keep all of us safe, comforted and joyful. So when something doesn’t go our way or we don’t get what we want, we pause to look up at the sky, take a deep breath, and know that we will find an answer to our problems, to know that there is no real threat. That we have to be patient and stay focused.

This fairy world translates to us, especially to our childhood. When we are children, we are protected by our parents. We are in a safe place where we are guarded from spontaneous events that threaten us. We play, eat, sleep, receive love and attention from our parents. We experience emotions and thoughts. We see how our parents react to spontaneous events or how they deal with problems. Our childlike innocence of enjoying the present moment and doing what our curiosity leads us to can be stomped on by a fear of change, disagreement, losing attention, losing friendship, losing home, and food. We become defensive, reactive, and use means to escape the reality that we start to believe as a threat. We lose sight of reality when we begin to believe in the mean things people say to hurt us, because they are hurting. The key to being happy, receptive, enjoying life is to realize that we live in a safe world. We have the power to walk away from angry people. We can look up to the sky and know that we are all right. We don’t have to be jealous of each other, try to hurt each other. We can pursue what we want with integrity and responsibility. By choosing a trade that makes the world a healthier, safer place with opportunities to have fun, explore and play, we can finally listen to what our friends and families are saying without judgment or fear. We can finally let go of jealousy when someone walks by who is richer or more beautiful or has more power. Our power to have fun, be safe is in our hands. In order to have freedom, we must allow the world to be free to be spontaneous. We are the wave in the ocean we call the Universe. There is an ebb and flow we must accept.


With love,

Haeun Héloïse Kim

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