Pg 1-Depression and Self-Awareness Workbook

Unstuck Yourself

by Haeun Héloïse Kim

Introduction

Imagine you jumped off a cliff and you’re falling. You don’t know when you are going to stop falling, you don’t know what‘s down there. You are falling and falling. At first, you are terrified, you feel so scared. Then you slowly start forgetting about life, or even that you’re falling because that is the only state you know and have been experiencing for a long time. Time to time, you wonder when you’ll see the bottom, or what you’ll hit. And most of the time you wish everything was over, so you think of ending it early since the end is uncertain. You think of ways to keep yourself busy by thinking about jokes and stories but you are falling. The reality of it is so clear to you, yet numbing; you are stuck. That is what depression feels like.

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Depression is like being in a deep hole. We’re not quite sure how we ended up in it. We have no hope because we have to get up but we have no tools to get up. Sometimes people appear at the top and ask us, “why don’t you get up? Just come out of there! Hey let’s play! why don’t you do anything to get out?” We know there is a world out there that people who are not depressed live in. But for whatever reason we aren’t there right now. We need help. Eventually, we will get help from ourselves, others who genuinely loves us, or from a professional.

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Here are some questions to guide you to observe yourself. Observe yourself in the hole. How are you feeling in the hole? How deep is your hole? When you observe and perceive, you can stop judging yourself, your depression, or the world around you. When you are aware of what is happening to you, you can figure out and be resourceful about what you need, and you will find a way to get out of the hole.

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Q. What do you do in a day?

Q. How does your body feel?

Q. What do you eat and drink?

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Depression is difficult to get out of. The reason is that the person does not use resources to be healthy. The person is disturbed for a numerous reasons, especially involving belief systems they repeat in their head all day long. The person most likely has no hope for the future because they believe nothing has reason, or does not look forward to anything because they feel that they keep trying but keep failing, the person feels that they are already a failure because they are missing certain pieces to allow them to come to the realization that they are simply stuck in a long part of their journey that they are capable of finishing.

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Q. Remember when you felt safe, comfortable, happy, excited, curious, resonating, stimulating, and capable of solving problems?

Q. What positive observations have people made about you?

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