How to deal with abuse

We are surrounded by acts of abuse.

Acts of abuse against oneself may be carried out by oneself or another.

If the cause of self harm is due to a mental illness that stems from false belief about oneself such as

“I’m not good enough”

“I’m unworthy”

“I’m shameful”

“I’m fat”

“I’m damaged”

“I’m a failure”

“I’m weak”

“I’m incapable”

“I have no purpose”

“I have no friends or family or romantic interest”

it is good to meet a therapist to help resolve personal conflict with someone who can provide empathy and support in a professional setting.

Or even better, to start loving oneself and treating oneself with gentleness, acceptance, and breathing deeply. To begin observing and listening to everything around oneself. Because truth will arise in the observations. Truth is rarely in what people say. Many people carry fundamental false beliefs that are destructive towards others and themselves.

If the abuser is another person, especially someone you are in a relationship with, first examine the level of dependency you have to the person.

Are you a minor and does the person provide for all of your basic needs of food, shelter, education, and social structure?

Are you a partner and does the person provide your needs for social belonging, romantic affection, food, and shelter?

Are you an employee and does the person have say about your status of employment?

The level of dependency that is highest would be one of affection, food, and home.

Matched with a person who commits many acts of abuse, with violence or belittling comments is horrid.

Outside intervention would be best.

If you are in a situation that is less dependent on the abuser, it’s important to examine yourself and the abuser and the relationship to move forward from the cycle of abuse.

What is being exchanged in the relationship?

How are you communicating with the abuser?

What sort of social connections are you in with the abuser?

Are other people aware of the abuse?

Are there people who has power to stop the act of abuse if you have no power to stop the act of abuse?

Do you want to leave the relationship?

Can you leave the relationship without harm?

What do you gain from the relationship?

 

My hope is that we can understand ourselves and others so that we can understand the acts of abuse and how we can remove them in our relationships with better communication, alternate choices that protect ourselves, and intervention to protect those who cannot protect themselves from acts of abuse.

Be strong. Be connected. Be smart.

 

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